just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize