I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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