i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Oh god it's open bar.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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