He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
