exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
