shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Randomize
