Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
