i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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