Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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