bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
