i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
