I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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