So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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