i can't believe i had my finger in that
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
