the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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