sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize