At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
