So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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