I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
