he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
