These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
