there was a trapeze. enough said
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You were trust falling into bushes
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
