i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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