it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
