I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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