i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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