were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
