Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
