It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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