Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
