nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize