He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
