I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
