Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
This girl is more easily done than said...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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