Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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