You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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