what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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