Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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