My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
