he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
