i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
