Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
