Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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