I want to stick my p in your. b.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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