singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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