I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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