Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
whose parrot is this?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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