guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
