We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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