Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
