I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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