the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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