1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize