He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
