yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize