I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
