Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
