I just threw up on my dentist
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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