2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
