Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
