If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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