if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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