i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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