the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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