it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
