I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
that's an acceptable place to lick
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
