I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
