Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
