Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
