I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
