My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
one two three fourrrrnication!
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
