Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
