She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
