Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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