Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
