great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
