nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
