apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
