i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
