I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
