It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
did you just send me my own nude
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
