i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
